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Five rules and tips for wedding photographers and when to break them

Rules are meant to be broken, but only when you know what the exceptions are. Here are a just a few of the most important rules that I think most wedding photographers should follow when shooting, and when to break them.

Stay invisible
If you want those candid, fly-on-the-wall shots, you're going to have to stay invisible. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, a good, long tele lens allows you to walk outside the "circle" - most gatherings tend to form in a circle and most people won't notice you once you're outside of it, even if you're walking around with a large, white-barrelled lens. Don't disturb guests unless you want to stage a reaction, and don't detract from the couple's day. Hug the walls, stand next to pillars, and don't raise your camera until you need to.

When to break the rule: As the couple's photographer, you are in the unique position of being able to move around during those times where everyone else would be seated, or busy enjoying themselves. No one else would dare dream of standing in the middle of the aisle for a better view, but you afford everyone else that opportunity once the photos come out. No one else would come alongside the registry at the time of signing, but they would all expect to see it. Try never to block anyone's view for longer than necessary. If you must, be sure that whatever you take is worth it. Can you safely say that the photo you took is just as though you were there?

Be polite and discreet
While this may be work, it is also someone else's special day. The comfort of the bride and groom's guests is also part of that day. Just because you are the photographer doesn't mean others should give way to you. While you may take a photo to immortalise the moment, don't make it at the cost of someone else who will never see it. Yes, get the job done, but do it quickly, discreetly and move along. Lower your camera to let others know if you're not shooting. If you're invited to, enjoy some refreshments, but always maintain your professionalism. Respond to queries if asked, but don't flirt or get into arguments with guests (and as much as you may want to, don't hard sell your business - a business card will do and your finished work will speak for itself). If done right, most people will never think twice about your presence and some may never even realise you were there.

When to break the rule: Your role as a photographer is not just to take photos, it is to organise and take control of the situation where necessary. For a formal portraits, you should ensure that people know you're taking a shot and that they either need to be in it or to clear the area. You need to give direction when arranging people. You must be firm, efficient, but still friendly. No one wants to spend too long standing around, plus cheeks will start to hurt from smiling after a while. Be remembered as the person who knew what they were doing, got the job done, and did it right.

Stick to the bride and groom
Always know where the bride and groom are. They are your clients and you are providing a service to them. When they look back and think about a moment at their wedding, hopefully you were there to capture it. You can only do this if you know where they are and what they are doing. Know their schedule of events if they have one. Do you know when and where they will be? You can't possibly take a photo of the groom helping his bride out of the car if you don't know what time they are arriving. Worst of all, don't miss things like the cutting of the cake.

When to break the rule: As much as the bride and groom would love to remember what they were like on the day, they are not the only subjects at the wedding. You play an important role as an extra eye for the couple. They will never realise that a relative was crying with joy for them as they kissed, or how much their friends enjoyed each others company at their reception. Neither may notice an anxious, but proud father re-reading his speech in a quiet back room, and they'll never know if you're always stalking them. You are, in a way, their ambassador, but don't lose track of where they are!

Only carry what you need
What gear to bring to a wedding is a whole different topic, so I will keep this short. Be mobile enough to get the job done. This also ties in with being invisible. If you're flailing about with giant umbrellas and giant bags stuffed full of equipment that scream, "Look at me!!", it will be difficult to stay discreet, let alone invisible. Travel light and carry only what you need. For most this means two bodies and a small pouch for a lens or two. That's three to four lenses to choose from at any given moment.

When to break the rule: Always carry backups. If your camera dies, you do not want to be dead in the water. No one is going to stop their wedding for the sake of some pictures. I actually recommend carrying multiple bags - one full of all of your gear that isn't meant to be carried around (and in fact become a semi-base of operations) and a small, lightweight hip bag for only what you need. Bring some food and water. Bring some gaffers tape. A bit of candy for the kids. Some headache tablets for after a long shoot. Be remembered as the photographer who not only did the job, but had thought of everything in advance. Oh, and bring a padlock or a security chain for the truly paranoid.

Smile
Bring your smile. When someone smiles at you, the instinctual reaction is to smile back. You may argue that this may be manipulating people, but not bringing your smile and being seen as that indifferent, shady guy also manipulates people. Besides, this is what you love to do, isn't it? If not, smile anyway! You'll feel yourself getting happier by the moment. So many photographers are seen as not being interested and not having any passion in their line of work simply because they never smile and are too worried about the end result. When you take a formal portrait, get into the habit of lowering the camera, smiling, then taking a look at your screen. It only takes half a second, but it says, "You're more important to me as people than as a bunch of pixels on my screen." Make sure you believe it.

When to break the rule: This is the unbreakable rule. As someone who sees everything in the day, if you're tired out and just want to go home, that reflects on the day as well. You are meant to be the provider of the highlights of the day. Never mind that your bag is heavy, your shoulders and feet are sore, and you haven't had anything to eat all day, you need to maintain your smile. It's okay if you're tired, no one expects you to be superman, but never act like you'd rather be anywhere else. While you may be doing a job, to be at someone's wedding is a privilege.